Zombies? Oh Lord!
by Sulphuric-Adamantine-Silver
Summary: Based off of Bonnenuit's story. A really shit plot, and hopefully smut, if I ever get better (crappy immune system) M for yaoi lemon, slight gore and blood, and general shittyness. Birthday fic for M-chan.


For MidnightEden's BIRTHDAY!

Happy birthday M-chan!

Inspired by Bonnenuit's story, Blood, Gore, and Yaoi, Oh My!  
It's not very well thought-out, I skipped mostly to the smut, because... It's smut! (not very good smut either XD lol)  
And Midnight-chan likes ShiroIchi sooo!

WARNING: YAOI, ZOMBIES, BLOOD, 'CANNIBALISM' AND 'MATING'

(oh yeah, i went there :D )

Basically- sex and zombies.

'Oh my.'  
(A/N END)

Shiro groaned before turning over, grunting in annoyance as he stretched, his joints popping and cracking pleasantly.

He opened one eye before frowning and sitting up slowly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Time to eat." He grumbled, wiping a stray bit of blood from his chin as he stood.

...

Ichigo frowned from his perch on the roof of the jail, staring out over the town.

'What kinda fuckhead puts a jail in the middle of a town anyways?' He thought to himself.

But really, he was quite grateful. The barbed wire fence and the cement walls prevented the current occupants from being devoured by zombies.

That's right. You heard the narrator. ZOMBIES.

Ichigo squinted slightly as a figure moved in the trees, running wildly.  
Zombies couldn't run, so it had to be human. He stood quickly and pulled a horn from where it was tied to his belt. He blew it quickly, the loud, deep sound carrying over the buildings and the figure froze, whipping around, searching for the maker of the sound.

Ichigo flailed, waving his arm and blowing the horn. He heard footsteps on the stairwell behind him, and glanced behind him to see Rukia standing in the door, eyes wide and panting slightly.

"Ichigo! Are the zombies attacking?!" She asked, expression frantic.

Ichigo paused. "No, theres another human out there! Look!" He pointed to the figure who was now heading for the jail, legs pumping and definitely male now that he was closer. Ichigo turned and ran past Rukia, through the doorway and sprinted down the stairs, nearly falling down them at one point when his foot got caught. He quickly righted himself and continued running, passing Kenpachi and Yachiru on the way. He threw open the door leading into the mess hall, and pulled the lever located in the guards office to open the door. He sprinted out to the front of the jail and prepared to open the small wire gate.

As the figure rounded the corner, it stumbled slightly and it became clear that it was running from a zombie.

A _fast_ one.

Ichigo's eyes widened in surprise as a flash of white rounded the corner behind the victim, pouncing on the dark-headed male, wrapping it's pale white hand around his throat and lifting his head.

"HELP! NO PLEASE, NO NO!" The man thrashed and flailed, and Ichigo whipped out the pistol he kept on the left side of his belt and shot the zombie square in the forehead. It froze, but didn't slump, and Ichigo began to panic when it let the man go and lifted it's head to stare at him.

His breath caught in his throat.

Apart from the fact that the bullet had literally _bounced_ off of its forehead, leaving a small pock-mark which was already fading, the appearance of this zombie was also irregular.

It had long, surprisingly clean white hair that cascaded down it's back and around it's angular face, which, also surprisingly, reminded him quite a bit of his own. It was very handsome, and it was clear that while lean, much like him, it was both taller and stronger, if the taut, wiry muscles in it's arms were anything to go by. It's skin was incredibly pale, matching it's hair. It must have been an albino in life.

It was the eyes that had him stunned, however.

Instead of cloudy and grey, they were clear, unlike the average, shambling zombies cloudy grey orbs, however they definetely _weren't normal._  
They were a deep golden colour, swimming in black sclera.

The man who was running from this being had reached the gate, and Ichigo mechanically opened and shut it after the poor sod, his eyes locked with the zombies.

It tilted it's head slowly, standing and advancing towards the gate in smooth, long strides of its strong legs.

Ichigo pointed his pistol at it, eyes narrowed in suspicion and it stopped, raising its hands up to beside its head and grinning widely.

Ichigo's hands shook slightly as it licked its lips and eyed him up and down suggestively.

It wasn't mindless, that was for sure. It was definitely intelligent.

"What do you want?" Ichigo almost slapped himself for the stupid question. It was a zombie, it wanted to eat him. Duh.

"Well, tha' all depends on wha' yer willin' ta give, doesn' it?" It's, no, _his_ voice washed over Ichigo like a wave, making him nearly tremble in shock and... Was that _want? _His voice had an odd, breathy quality, and the accent was incredibly sexy.

'BAD Ichigo!' he berated himself. 'He's a fucking zombie! All he wants is to eat you! Rip the flesh from your bones and devour you! Doesn't matter if he can speak- he's bad fucking news!'

Aloud, he said something else. "I can't let you in here. There are humans, and a killing spree is not on the timetable for Mondays. Or any other day, besides, I would rather not watch as my friends and family are eaten by you." He inwardly congratulated himself on not stuttering or blushing during the sentence.

"I don' think I wan' yer family... I think I would rather have _you... Ichigo..." _Ichigo flinched in surprise and stepped back, away from the fence.

"H-how do you-"

...

The orangette stuttered adorably. Shiro loved it- it made him even more irresistable, and that was hard, considering the fact that he had been attracted to the strawberry ever snce five minutes ago, when he was shot by him.

"I dunno Ichi... Maybe it's 'cause we're _mates?_" The albino zombie leered, close enough now that he was pressing against the wire. "I'll betcha tha' if ya think hard enough, ya will know ma name too~" He reached a hand through the netting, bending it to create a large hole, wrapping his fingers around the collar of the scared strawberry.

"The fuck is a 'mate'?" The orangette snarled, eyes darkened and body relaxed as he allowed the zombie to take hold of his clothing.

He pulled Ichigo closer to him, using his other hand to rip open the wire netting as the other man, the one he had been chasing, screamed and ran inside.

Ichigo didn't even blink, he was too lost in the albino's eyes to comprehend anything else at all.

"S-Shiro?" He whispered reverently, reaching out a hand to caress the older's cheek.

Shiro grinned wickedly, pulling the berry close to him before licking the boy's face.

"Mmmm... Ya taste goood Ichi~" The albino whispered, bending to lick and suck at Ichigo's neck, leaving hickeys and marks all over the creamy, tan skin before leaning back up to kiss him chastely on the lips.

Eyes half-lidded, Ichigo moaned and pressed back against the zombie, opening his mouth tentatively to the others licks and nips, none of them harsh enought o break skin, albeit his sharp teeth and canines.

Kenpachi, Renji, Rukia and Toshiro rounded the corner just as Shiro started to plunder the berries' sweet cavern.

Their arms were wrapped around one another, and Ichigo seemed oblivious to the small amount of blood clotted in the zombies hair and staining his camo pants and ripped blue tank top.

The others could do nothing but stare for a good while as Ichigo moaned and Shiro chuckled as he watched th expressions on the human's faces change from shock to anger.

"You! What have you done to Ichigo?!" Rukia screamed, pulling a gun out and pointing it at Shiro.

Shiro laughed, pulling away from Ichigo who blinked before whining slightly at the loss of the other's lips on his.

Before the berry's mind could clear, Shiro had swept him up bridal syle, and was moving at inhuman speed away from the jail.

...

Ichigo yelped as they skidded to a stop in front of a run-down second-hand shop.

The sign read 'Urahara's Shop of Wonders'. Ichigo scowled at Shiro as the zombie grinned wickedly at him, white teeth surprisingly clean, considering he ate people.

That thought should have bothered Ichigo, but it didn't.

Shiro grabbed his hand and pulled him to the door, throwing it open and flicking a switch which, surprisingly, turned on several lights.

"How do you-" Ichigo was cut off by a passionate kiss, his mouth quickly opened and was mapped out by a warm tounge.

"Back-up generator." The zombie stated, leering at the panting strawberry.

Ichigo glared before Shiro started to pull him to the back of the shop.

"Oi! Urahara! I found my mate! Ya and Yoruichi shoul' be fuckin proud o' me!" The zombie yelled as he pulled Ichigo past another zombie, evidently as intelligent as Shiro, if the personal grooming was anything to go by.  
The guy was wearing a green and white striped suit with a matching hat, and a carved mahogany cane.

Ichigo felt embarassed as he was yanked past in bare feet, white t-shirt, and red skinny jeans.

There was a very loud bang as the door of Shiro's room (he assumed that it was Shiro's) hit the wall. Before the poor berry knew it, the zombie had pulled him in, slammed the door shut, locked it, and was thoroughly molesting him.


End file.
